car tuning

5 Sep 2007

Some people should never have a car.

I have a friend who is a talented graphic designer living in London. (He knows who he is and I exaggerate his story - but only a little!) I always have to smile at his comprehension of what he classes as car ownership. Because I run Torquecars the car tuning site he often asks me his car related questions rather than take his car to a garage and get ripped off.

Servicing - This is something he believes that needs to be done when the car breaks down. Servicing is never considered a prevention. The only regular thing he does to his car is fill it with petrol. Light bulbs get replaced when they have all failed on the basis that with one headlight you can still see where you are going. I believe he also cleans his car occasionally as this is usually quicker than pulling out the weeds growing in the dirt stuck to the paintwork.

Here is a brief summary of his car problems. Red light comes on in the shape of an engine. "He thinks hmmm a pretty red light - I don't think that was on before. I wonder what it means. Now I come to think about it the car is running strangely." Next day he is surprised that the car breaks down on him, so he manages to get it parked and walks the rest of the way home.
About a week later he remembers he had a car and then tries to think about where he parked it? After a few hours searching the streets he has still not located his car and it actually takes another week before he finds it. He gets a garage to mend it and he is back on the road.

A few weeks later his car is no longer parked where he left it. He reports it stolen to the Police who inform him that it has been towed away and stored in a compound. He knows he parked legally so pushes his case a little further and discovers that unfortunately his road tax expired and this is why it was towed away, he has a fine to pay and needs to get the car taxed.
To get his car tax he needs his documents and he can't locate his MOT test certificate but he is sure it had an MOT a few years ago! The story goes on but needless to say he finally gets his car back.

Then a few days ago I get an email from him with a sketch drawing of a pipe with 4 bolt holes at each end with a message, "this fell off my car the other day, do you know what it is or where it goes? The car is making a funny noise now?" It was the hose from the air box so wasn't very major but I dread to think what the next email from him is going to be!

I have come to the conclusion that we are not all destined to have a car.

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